I have enjoyed the comments. I got called a boy, an intern, and kiddo they only start doing that once they get comfortable with me; and we were usually joking around after work or before going home I wouldnt take it seriously; but more so that your boss is actually comfortable with your presence and that you should feel good about it. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. It's like they skipped the week in kindergarten about keeping one's hands to oneself. Learn more in our Cookie Policy. So, basically when someone calls you something that makes you feel bad, take it as a compliment. just say are to going to keep calling me kiddo until im 50. What if the boss called everyone stinko? These include health and safety breaches, workplace accidents, harassment, and discrimination. I don't need to be excused, but their attitude sure does. I dont check up on what people say back to me. Keep in mind though, even if you dont find names like darling, sweetie, dear, etc. Weve chosen to acknowledge our age rather than deny it, believing it to be a healthier and happier way to inhabit our later years. It's just impressive/interesting. I would HATE to have strangers touch my hair, especially without permission. Is that really so weird? I was miffed when the guy at the lumber store called me Kiddo. I'm a 30 year old physician, I get comments / question about my age from everybody. Boss calls me young lady I'm 30 years old, my boss is in his 50s and he always calls me "young lady." I've felt he was attracted to me a few times, but the "young lady" thing is throwing me. :-). I found the entire thing to be really demeaning. Use and access to . I'm 35 and don't necessarily look young but I'm younger than their 65+ age. However, I am less sure of those who counsel you to toughen up and forget about it. In some cases, it may also be used to indicate that the speaker perceives you as being younger than you actually are. I work in a goddamn grocery store meat department and I get pissed off whenever someone refers to me as such. I also know that it could have taken time and effort to style it, and you don't want people messing it up. I'm a white woman and was also strangely intruiged when I had a few black classmates in my early 30s. I noticed on several occasions you have called me kiddo. "Boss, calling me young lady makes me uncomfortable [optional made up sad story to convince him] I would appreciate it if you didn't call me that, it's kind of unprofessional.". I mean unless youve touched lots of white peoples hair how would you know what the texture is like? New male dentist- I told him on my first visit not to call me that. They just go around life molesting people's heads, touching pregnant people like they're lucky rabbit's feet, and then probably double dip chips at the buffet while talking about their TMI medical issues at the Xmas party and posting that their SO is an asshole on Facebook. If he doesn't stop, start calling him "old man" and let him see first-hand how patronizing it is! Would they be snippy if they were men? Im furious and preparing a snappy retort for my next fill up. The boomers tend to be pretty disrespectful to us millenials. Watch a show. Clearly, anyone that doesn't have a tiny penis would have realized that. NOPE. And yeah, I've only had it coming from those above me a few times, not who I want to work for. She should say it with same attitude as Jack Sparrow! Possibly, but still. can I keep my company truck to screw over my company, fired for a Halloween costume, and more, updates: boss wants to talk to my doctor, taking a job where the CEO is a dick, and more, interviewer asked how low I was willing to go on salary, will almost-floor-length hair hold me back professionally, and more, updates: I was promised summer hours but its frowned upon to use them, and more, updates: the birthday drama, the company swag that doesnt fit, and more, updates: the teenager who wanted to quit, the coworker pushing food, and more, update: I sent my boss a long, angry email but I turned out to be wrong, share your funniest office holiday stories, a drama-filled affair, coworker marks most of her emails as highly important, and more, updates: coworker refuses to share their screen, a nasty Glassdoor review with my title, and more, updates: Im the only one in the office, the fake alma mater, and more. Like you said, being young in certain professions comes with some stigma and some expected comments. I had a customer do that to me a few times. But also isn't that a common phrase in English? He doesnt see the hours she put in as the same as her male counterparts. For future interactions maybe channel Samantha Carter from Stargate. Lol. I mean, if you want to, go for it. The world will never conform to your exact expectations. Hey there young lady, is your husband looking for some equipment? I would have but I might have lost my job if I did! As for my dad, he just says it because he went to basic in the south and they drilled all of that southern mannerism into people and it just stuck some 50 odd years later. She told me that she is changing my dress code and along with this I need to change my bra to one that is more supportive. I work as a technician supporting the bar/pub/club industry. In that case, the nickname is more a symptom of a larger problem, and its the larger problem that you should address. How are other interactions with that person? Why is it disrespectful? Edit - going to let this comment stand but upon reflection it's not really relevant due to the context. They are not coming onto me, they just act that way. I can only imagine how it feels in your position, a man knowing your achievements and dismissing so blatantly. mi jefe me llam (3) More examples Want to Learn Spanish? Ill take young lady over maam. I teach at a college. I use it in the most polite and respectful way possible, in context, "what up Bud!? Just because something is popular doesnt mean its right. Im a women veterinarian and in my late 20s, I get asked how old I am at least once a week or a side comment about how I look like Im in high school. I never thought twice about this. Read a book. Society has chased youthfulness ad infinitum, so like, literally take a big breath and don't cause any more internal ruckus on this matter. I (35f) don't like to live in the country of my partner Im a freshman (F19). Forgot to add, if the OP is the only one being called kiddo, that *might* be ageist. Ive had two bosses who called me kiddo. Get over it. I just started back at him bewildered. My guess is he just doesnt remember everyones name. Its is disrespectful to me. I've thought about that, but ultimately, I am lazy XD. It talks about how your skills are the most marketable thing, and you should seek marketable skills. You can update your choices at any time in your settings. Find more similar words at . You are 27, don't you think you are still young? I cannot believe this is a thing people have to endure. Young lady?! But I "solved" the problem by keeping my hair in a pixie cut, which I love, to my mum's dismay. Feeling a little old over here. It rubs the straightening lotion in it's hair So we have many similar traits. Age has no bearing. You are only 27 years old. Does it degrade or harm me in any way to be the recipient of them in this case, which is totally devoid of denigration or sexual harrassment? I don't want to overreact, I don't want to be overly sensitive. I've known too many baller women pilots to take those douche bags seriously. I found it very cool. /endrant is there a good way to handle this that wont get me fired? Women have a history of being patronised though (keep in mind women haven't been commonly in the working world as long) so terms like that can hit harder. Ive been doing this for 13 years. "All you do is boss me around all day!" complained one of his sheep. Things can always be interpreted several ways. Her male peers are addressed in a formal fashion while she was addressed informally and in a diminutive way. A student called me young lady. That's genuinely weird af. And throughout the land, everyone was happy. No woman beyond the age of 25 accepts being called young lady at work by THEIR BOSS. Im 29, training this guy thats new to my team. This would have been the perfect professional, confident, corrective response. Another coworker calls me sparky, and it doesnt bother me nearly as much. And people really just have to respect that - its kinda just a universally accepted rule. My boss is an older guy who calls everyone younger than him young lady or young man. Looks like explicit move to set the tone for supervisor investigating infraction by employee. I speak in a polite gentle tone. Agreed! He said sit down Young Lady and I told him it was an ageism comment so stop. My personal favourite is WE STILL HAVE OUR TEETH NOW DEAR, THAT SOOO GOOODDDDD HUNS, we have TEEETH so LUCKY to have TEEEEETH I'd even say a guy was a sweetheart if he was being so, though typically only if he was being one to someone else. as an engineer, and I had machinists, mechanics, and welders calling me "young lady" - and I only tolerated it because my boss explained that it was a southern thing. The federal Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) prohibits age discrimination against workers age 40 or over who work for employers with 20 or more employees. If someone in my senior leadership called me 'young lady' I would rightfully correct them to address me by my rank. Duuuuude. I'm a pilot too. Master Age: 34. Interestingly, in addition to being responsible for violation of ADEA by a management level employee, it's possible for an employer to be held liable for age discrimination or harassment by a co-worker or even a client or customer. when you're sick, can you have someone else call your office on your behalf? Ive had various bosses do it throughout the years, and whether they respect me or not, it grates. "Oh we just say that" oh you don't say it to the guys you talk to so fuck right off with that you creep. Think of the tone Homer uses when he grounds Lisa, and says "Go to your room young lady, and think about what you did.". When I went to pay for my items, I informed her it was rude to call someone you dont know by those names and asked her to please stop it. It is not meant as a slur or derision. 2. Excellent point. Im 60 and hes at least as old as I am. From then on we were only allowed to use formal titles in the meeting, referring to others as Councillor Surname only. Young lady implies a certain amount of disrespect, that's undeniable, if you disagree then Google it. The different, intricate hair styles, the wigs! It's like, go buy a barbie doll you weirdo. I was thinking of blond hair that shines like gold in the sun. I identify as agender but I am also super feminist because I have experienced so much bullshit misogyny and if they mean no harm I let it slide but most times this shit is a power play and I hate it so much. It is positive acknowledgment. At first, I thought to myself, What?! Know who you are! Though sometimes you need to weigh that action against the seriousness of the issue and the (quiet) judgments others may make in the process, about your own character (or lack thereof). He told me it was a good thing and was because we reminded him of his girls (I.e. The answer must totes magotes be that you're super accepting and equal opportunity, not that you're a multfaceted jackass. I get called young man by the older people I encounter all the time and never give it a second thought. But if its just casual hi Kiddo while you pass in the hallways, I wouldnt worry about it. Yes, its common in the Black community. BRB naming a character "Captain PistachioMaru". I wish I could tell you it stops as you get older. A couple of village children ran away from her screaming that she was a ghost.. So many men yapping in here. Ive been the only mechanic to bother looking for an obvious broken exhaust header on this plane, find it, get it done during a turn (when the other mechanic and two apprentices MAYBE could have had the cowling off working together by then), the plane isnt delayed, and I get a thanks young man from the Captain. I'm 28 and a man called me "kiddo" the other day at work. No, shes not! I asked if you guys had a certain product. I am male 42, i get called "young man" sometimes. I think it could be him mis-speaking, or being too familiar. It's not low key. Oh come on, its an old fashioned phrase. Because adults have real problems. But if I have a conversation with someone with gorgeous hair I want to touch and the topic of hair comes naturally (I'm a hairdresser, so it tends to do that), I will ask and I can't think of a time I've not been allowed to touch it. I started telling people Im 12 and casually throw in you know, child prodigy, Ive also gotten some of my technicians to go along with it, its pretty fun and shuts people up. The latest version of this is Hasbro's newest game: Ms. Respect boundaries, even though it's only meant well. I find Absolutely sugartits to be particularly effective agains dudes. It's just one of those sticky situations where the girl is part of my circle of friends so it has the potential to make things really awkward if I get rejected. They might as well just pat me on the head while theyre saying it. I'm so curious and I bet it would feel amazing. As long as your work is valued and you are taken seriously in your role, a nickname is a good thing. I felt this because I can get the desire to touch people's hair, especially if it's very different from mine. At 27yo being called something like "sir" or "maam" would have upset me a lot lol. Claudette Colbert (/ k o l b r / kohl-BAIR; born milie Claudette Chauchoin; September 13, 1903 - July 30, 1996) was an American actress.Colbert began her career in Broadway productions during the late 1920s and progressed to films with the advent of talking pictures.Initially associated with Paramount Pictures, she gradually shifted to working as an actress free of the studio system. Seriously no, we're almost kids to that age. Right? Covid slowed things down hugely. If your co-workers or boss don't treat you the way you want, you should feel you have enough clout to confront them, imo. I only take that kinda language from my husband. It bothered me because he was only 10 yrs older than me, and I know that he did know my name. I had the same thing happen to me this week and I had to take then aside later and demand a proper apology. The next day I called the standards office and made a complaint. However, simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that aren't very serious do not violate ADEA. I read the title of the post and thought my outrage was fitting enough-but then I read the rest and HOLY SHIT. Piloting is expensive af. You can be young and do great things, I mean what is wrong with being a young lady? Even at work. Im 5 foot 5, 135 lbs, muscular, a doctoral level professional, my hairs not grey but I must admit my face is quite a roadmap LOL I listened to many many variation on the above themes, and I dont want to totally self-isolate or give up!! The context is missing because the comment I replied to had since been deleted. I even think curiosity about new and different experiences (e.g. And I recognize that is a giant blaring privilege because I have not been disciplined or told to stop being so angry etc. Kind of cute, isnt it? And yes, it might depend on the context, whether youre being talked down to in other ways. Hopefully your next job takes you more seriously. I do draw the line when people come up behind me and put both hands on my shoulders in a hard manner. It's because of the inherent power imbalance due to the genders, especially in the US. Having been pregnant-touched I guess I shouldn't be horrified, but this just feels like more than lack of bodily autonomy. He's old and a man, should I have called him an old man? Again, many older people would not like to be called gramps which is an equally ageist term regardless of the intent behind the term. I'm sorry you're not. "What did you say?" challenged the farmer. I think that, within reason, its important to roll with the spirit of the thing. I am accomplished, educated and trained on current management techniques in a challenging career field. Posts by PistachioMaru 2021-02-22 08:56:59 It feels so nice when men notice things like mansplaining without you needing to tell them 2021-11-05 22:05:39 My boss called me "young lady" today. However, this guy has not only called me YL twice, last time he washed my side mirrors and asked me if I could see the dino in the mirror. Context matters, and many people who say it are older and don't mean any harm, but when it comes to work, I trained myself not to call anyone "hun" or anything other than their name or title, because at work I was the supervisor and everyone was younger than me. We print the highest quality my squad calls me boss lady stickers on the internet There are better ways to ask, if he was just curious, why she's leaving early. This is incredibly insightful and creative advice. Without more, probably not. Yeah, I think it would depend for me if he called the men, young men. I loathed it, and as soon as I was old enough I cut it all short. A female boss hires a handsome assistant to annoy her cocky office rival, but a prohibited office romance blossoms between boss and assistant. Learn some history. If anything its better than calling me a boy when I was 23 at the time. You're obviously tough enough. He just took all her hard work, dedication, and sacrifice in two short words. Or, stop, look around, and pretend to be confused about who hes talking to. Check out Ask A Manager though - I know I've read advice from her on responding to similar issues. Or just don't give a shit and carry on with your day/life? I get called young man, asked if I'm old enough to be doing this, and mildly sexually harassed by older patients. Youre being overly sensitive. We are professionals. No mercy for american dogs of war, murderers of children. It hasnt been a problem since. If you catch him looking into your eyes on a regular basis, chances are his thoughts are straying in the direction of romance. Im sorry, feel your pain. I work with two people who poke their heads in my office, ask, Is now a good time to talk? and plop their problem on my desk before I finish explaining I have a pressing deadline, a meeting, and a computer glitch, and Tuesday would be better. Its Captain, Sir! Id have said something like that to the old mf. you are young. Omg I'm ginger too and I get that as well, especially for my beard! You are completely entitled to your opinion Laura insult-free, to boot! So demeaning and faux-complimentarylike Im supposed to giggle and bat my eyelashes..I always tell the guy (its ALWAYS a guy) that unless hes 90 hes not allowed to call me a young lady. My best worker and favorite employee was a man about 30 years my junior and if I'd called him "young man" I would have sounded like I was some kind of asshole who thought he was a child, so I didn't call him that. Theres this tech that talk to the court clerk like that at my work place. Pretty disheartened by all the dudes coming to this sub to tell you that you are overreacting. Bobbi Boss Bomba Synthetic Braids - Bomba Box Braid. I think its partly in the intent of the speaker, and partly in the ear of the listener. I've responded with: "I am NOT a misbehaving toddler.". 1. Yeah, this is disgusting. Do I think that those comments are made ignorantly? As long as you dont mean to be disrespectful, call me anything you want; just dont call me late for dinner ;). Calling someone there name is generally a sign of respect. He knows my name. It's patronising. Every manager who has ever done that has been a jerk for some odd reason. I got asked, "what's your name, sweetheart?" . How did maintenance fuck up an engine exactly? update: I work at Twitter what do I do? Just because something feels a certain way to you, doesnt mean its always intended that way. Id take it as a compliment that Im young and accomplished so much. Have you met before? It seems like, for you at least, smiling may actually help your outlook on life. Might add, I've been in my field for 10+ years and I'm 36. The residents love it if I call them young lady or young man. If you are working for the public, you need one rule..dont call anyone anything period. In that case, it doesnt matter. God I hate being a woman in the South. This happened to me. Munchkin felt like an insult and Sparky just doesnt feel that way. Straight after her appearance at New York Fashion Week SS20, people were quick to call her out online. It's like when you don't know anyone with tattoos and you meet someone with full sleeves for the first time. Ah I just commented this above, but as a kid with strawberry blonde ringlets it happened. It's important to me to show respect cause people aren't some animal at a petting zoo. My response is now, oh, hello there young man, which usually does the trick. Ill let it bother me for that amount and then I force myself to let it go. One was when I was in high school (and admittedly a kid), who treated me very well and continually increased my responsibilities for as long as I worked for her. Employers who are covered byADEA cannot discriminate against an employee 40 or over in hiring, firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, layoff, training, fringe benefits, or any other term or condition of employment. So I do try and make sure when I am going off on someone I dont necessarily make it about me but that in general you dont touch people uninvited. I cant change everyones mindset but simply by being in the position Im changing the future of the profession. It's demeaning, and if yiu don't think it's demeaning then maybe you need to look inward instead. On the other hand, when something is so common (like you guys), being snippy about it is pretty silly. . The look on his face was priceless. Awkward if your name actually is Shirley though. Honestly, I cant understand anyone wanting to touch anyones hair, or touch a stranger in general. I think that the word kiddo is likely thrown out without malice and by people who honestly have no idea how grating it sounds to a younger subordinate, and Ive never lost my cool about it or confronted the (several) bosses about it, but why not just call people by their namesthen you wont have to worry about a nickname/term of endearment/whatever having any negative impact. It's like, sure Travis. Desperate . What people fail at though is to balance their natural curiosity with the necessary respect for another's personhood and boundaries. So unprofessional, but probably it would be "where are you going young man" if your plumbing where different. ", He hardly meant it offensively, of anything young lady was meant as a compliment and not even the creepy old man type compliment where he calls you attractive, just literally trying to be friendly. Yeah no. I could be wrong, but even civ pilots are "captains." I have had women put their hands on me when I am able to help them. Youre the most senior pilot with only 3.5 years?! (Heres my take on it. Or if you're working (retail, schools etc). It is actually possible they would ask where are you going young man? Dont like nicknames. Did he have enough knowledge to be able to identify your rank by what you were wearing? When someone calls you "young lady," they are typically addressing you politely. Im sorry, but kiddo is not professional at all and if the OP doesnt feel comfortable being called that, she has every right to bring that up (politely, of course). Thus shit dont matter. So why should I feel ashamed? This is not a particularly offensive term, and older people often use it as the equivalent of buddy. Theres no comparison between this and racial slurs! People are entitled not to like commonplace sayings, but it makes no sense to give other people grief for using it. Are you much younger than he? Yeah older women call me young man all the time because well compared to them, its what I am. It makes me feel like I look younger than I am which is a positive in my book. Iff (if and only if) it happens again, bring up how it makes you uncomfortable in a different setting. That all depends on your perception. Alison, Notify me of follow-up comments by email. until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Yes I live in the first world, all my problems are first world problems. Yesterday a new visit and he greeted me with y l. I replied Hello Young Man. Does the boss call everyone kiddo? Its patronizing. It drives me crazy. Be proud that you are doing what you do at 27. And I never let anything get to me whilst flying. Everyone is different, and there are some who dont like to be nicknamed. I'm mature enough to not fight him on it, I'm wise enough to infer the disrespect in the comment. I expected some major sexism due to my field of work (happens in California as well) and on top of that it being Texas (just from the stereotypes and stories I have heard), but I was still stunned into silence when a gentleman running a heavy machinery booth I was checking out said to me (apply thick texan accent): Some of them much older and still dealing with this shit. Not the point, but to a dad, one's daughter is to some extent always "young lady". Lady, Im their supervisor. The federal Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) prohibits age discrimination against workers age 40 or over who work for employers with 20 or more employees. But fuck! My point istheres usually a vibe that goes with a nickname. And that makes it worth the conversation. It seems inappropriate, especially in a professional work setting (my situation). Whats the issue. Again, most people agree its her RIGHT to bring it up, but that doesnt mean that she NEEDS to. You can just politely say "I know you have your nickname, but can you please call me Name?" I can't even imagine what you'd have to go through your whole lives. And this was in a so-called professional office. Basing your opinion on whether the boss is being dismissive on how he otherwise treats you and reacts to your work is excellent advice. The phrase young lady is usually reserved for early teen and younger girls. I stupidly STUPIDLY used to unconsciously, as in without thinking, ask if the manager was about when I walked in. Its such a weird childish, toddler like thing and I just dont get it. I know you have a highly respected reputation, and I dont believe that you intend to dis me. Got told that I spoke very maturely for a child and was very smart. But, most importantly she will not stop until she has it all. The difference is that I would NEVER actually touch anyone's hair, or ask to touch anyone's hair. LOL I feel this. When I describe someone as a sweetheart, it simply means I think they're acting very sweet. I'm an adult at my job; you should not be calling me sweetheart in a professional setting the first time you meet me. Honestly, if you feel like he takes you seriously, hed probably be responsive if you politely told him that the kiddo thing bugs you sometimes. But dont take offense to this. PS Im no where near the American South (have dealt with ageist crap in the Northern US, and in Canada in rural and urban areas in multiple provinces, across thousand of miles. My partner is white and her girlfriends and they've all said they'd love to feel African hair just put of curiosity lol. I'm a professional, my gender and age have nothing to do with it. She thought she was being kind. Yeah I can handle a certain amount of sexism, but it's just demoralizing some days, especially from my own employer. Get over it and remember your femininity! Its been very insightful! I'm 33 and I myself consider many women in their late twenties as young. The company bought me lunch, and my boss called me into her office to give me a gift. It can give off the wrong idea from showing disrespect or perhaps even a bias towards that person over the rest. There's been a few times when I've met a woman of color with visibly amazing textured hair, and there's been an unspoken vibe between us of mutual non-hairtouch respect, lol. Prolonged and significant eye contact is one of the top indicators of romantic interest no matter what the context. I mean, it's not a disrespectful thing to call a young woman, just in general. Learn to live with it and trust me, in a couple of years youd wish youd get called young. Major airlines may not be hiring due to training backlogs, but they definitely need pilots. Plain and simple. I jokingly told him one day that he could only call me Kiddo if I could call him Old Man; he laughed and stopped calling me Kiddo. And by your logic, you shouldnt complain about anything ever because there are always people out there who have bigger problems than you do. So if you do retort next time, have another response ready for the inevitable, "oh I'd thought that'd be a compliment for a wOmAn YoUr AgE.". People will start calling you madam. Not even in the same county.) Currently you have JavaScript disabled. However, if he doesnt seem to take you seriously, and condescends to you in other ways, then Id address that head-on. It depends on intent and how often that kind of thing happens. Good day. Be Unique. Who ever said you had to like work? I am a doctor. Well We came to an agreement, and he stopped call girl. Some of them reflect the stage of my life in which I knew a person. I HATE it! I'm 30 yrs old (m) and i looks young, wich i don't really dislike, if the trend stay still, i'll look 30ish at my 40th birthday. This one sounds endearing which is fine if it doesnt cross over to your boss introducing you to other employees who may not understand the relationship and may take it to mean he doesnt care enough to even mention you by name. I sincerely think its because I am his daughters age. And what is disturbing on lady? This will differ depending on what options are available for the item. we shouldnt automatically invalidate her perspective cause we havent lived that life. I changed dentist when she called me Young Lady every visit. lol. Lolol. Where are you going, young lady? As a woman, no matter your age or experience, people always think things like this are okay but its not. Be grateful when you hear young lady & take it as a compliment, as it may be the only time you ever hear it. It's not as bad as being called 'bud'. No it doesnt. Its different for me, Joanie. And at the end of the day stop taking everything so negatively. Cool we disagree. But you can go to him and be likecan i bring something up Key is dont let them become defensive. That ought to open things up for discussion in a non-hostile friendly manner. Her title is Captain. I decided to speak to him about it and explain my position. Assume positive intent. It's the connotation. How do i know? Similarly, I've heard older ladies say "young lady." Again, respectfully, not in that upbraiding tone many of us remember from our teenage years. I am not a kid! I am sort of like the OP and hate it when people use terms of endearment to me too. I said that she was incorrect to assume it doesn't happen to men too. It's condescending as hell. At her rank, she's beyond micromanagement. but he does not know who you really are so just drop it, Or next time introduce your self. Lighten up! #2 Don't Say -"You are very lucky to receive this bonus. Being over 65, I look at the term of young lady, as a term of endearment, not disrespect. It got blonder (and frizzier) as I got older, and I do miss the colour but maaan I do not miss those interactions. Your skills and experience dont change your age and Im sure Captain would have been too formal. You knows what she wants. Synonyms for boss lady include forewoman, boss, manageress, captain, chargehand, chief, controller, foreperson, ganger and governor. Totally understand! I live in Wisconsin. Because that is fucking bizarre. It is a lot better than being called Maam. Im a well educated woman with a lot of life experience the sort of life experiences that have people commenting I should write a book when they hear it and when an older man (or woman) refers to me as young lady I take it as its meant to be a compliment. LinkedIn and 3rd parties use essential and non-essential cookies to provide, secure, analyze and improve our Services, and to show you relevant ads (including professional and job ads) on and off LinkedIn. Im not sure why the texture of my hair is so concerning that men just want to touch it so badly. Drowning Pool, Five Finger Death Punch, Three Days Grace, Hinder. We welcome anyone seeking advice of a non-professional nature. So stop acting like a kid, and just roll with the punches or youll never get out alive. Even if I had a special title like doctor Just not something that I would find offensive or insulting in context. +1 y. "Captain, Old Man", she said, "I will chop off both Jupiter and Saturn in a blink of an eye". No I dont blame you. ", Or "how you doing Bud?". Tone matters. Don't worry - I'm the senior pilot here. Eta and I ranted to my first officer about it, I'm not gonna change how the president of the company sees women but at least I can get my peers on my side! I trust that OP has the ability to assess the situation appropriately. I am also the youngest person at this company. But if he calls a particular subset of employees kiddo, and doing so does impact the other employees impressions of the kiddos, I might look for a nonconfrontational way to bring it up, mentioning in the same time that I think hes a great boss, does value me/my input, etc. A person who moves along effortlessly and conducts himself well is sure to incite feelings of infatuation in another individual. Is it suspicious that its only females writing in to say they are called kiddo? read this and my first reaction was oh OP thats a bit of an over-reaction he is the president of the company then i realized wait youre a pilot captain! Honestly. Found one troll, trying to bully online without contributing anything worthwhile to the conversation. To call a woman this is demeaning. They're independent events, and being mad won't fix it. my good employee is angry about my bad employee, boss insists I get my tonsils out, and more, updates: the coworkers who asks what my clothes cost, the sleeping boss, and more, updates: the bigoted university, the catfishing, and more, updates: boss wants me to be upbeat all the time, the bathroom monitor, and more, update: my new coworker keeps staring at my breasts. I cant tell if its a relatively polite way of hitting on me or patronizing me. Only a rotten old fart would get bent out of shape about being called an old fart. I will get you where you need to go." Yeah- back when I was running small contracts, a company VP would drop in on the periodic conferences the lobby guards would call upstairs Are you expecting people? And our guy colleague would answer Yeah- the boss and the girl. Well when I recognized whose it was, I directed EVERY business-proper operational & purchasing question to THAT guy, just to involve him in real corporate conversation [wink, wink]. I let it go three times, then told her flatly that I didnt like the nickname and I would appreciate if she would use my name. Keep up the good fight! Can my boss call me names at work? Your boss may not even be fully aware that he's doing it. Yes he's shaken my hand before, we've had professional conversations, he knows my name. What can I do? also this old guy called me a "nice young man" to my boss. If he likes your work and he says it with a smile, enjoy a great work experience. I have red hair and the number of times random white women have touched my fucking head without permissionmy whole fucking life. I asked a question on facebook to the local farmers market (on their page). Shouldve called them old fart in return. You can do it without being rude /or feeling like youre being rude. Does he take you seriously, take your work seriously, and give real credence to your input? Q I recently gained access to my personnel file at work. From $4.79 $6.95. And as for the nickname thing why does that make it okay? On the other hand, if I enjoy working with someone, I like the nickname game. Ive read other articles where people say they dont mind these terms, most of them are men, and if they dont thats fine. YikesI am an old guy who works in an engineering and architectural firm and I confess that I have for years referred to coworkers younger and older than I, as kiddo. This was intentional, I thought it was a gender neutral, friendly, casual but not offensive nickname. But we never think of these in time too often. They'd be way worse for me. But getting them on their back foot is pretty great. [Thats stereo typing, & name calling!] If your boss is a name-caller, it's important to develop a plan to deal with the behavior. Im sure theres something you would not like to be called, and everyone is different. We live in a damn patriarchy. The same happens to blond people when they visit remote villages in Africa, kids want to touch it because it's so unusual to them. Male obviously. That's boomer stuff. (3) Sensationnel Synthetic African Collection Braids - Braid Out 12". How old is the guy? Although I am also a white lady, I keep my goddamn hands to myself so the impulse entirely baffles me. Look, I think most of us have agreed that its her prerogative to say something if she feels strongly about it. Mm, and I was once told youre the mother of the department by my boss who was two years younger than me. Like he still has seniority over you, why you felt the need to make it into an issue is beyond me. Stop defending idiotic and childish behavior. Why would red hair feel any different than any other shade? Tell him you know it wasnt out of malice or whatever blah blah, they need their egos massaged. You could try to talk to your boss about it in a non-confrontational way, if you think that's worth attempting? That is where our inner power comes from. Ive cried the whole drive home. Just because they're expected doesn't mean they're okay. All rights reserved. Coworkers, leadership, acquaintances, clients Maybe it's just a Midwest thing but I don't take it to mean anything negative in the slightest. Hopefully no one works with them in the real world. Thanks for the response. Yet, I have been referred to by sweetie or kiddo. If it were me I'd probably be super consistent about replying with "just [my name] is fine, thanks", "please just stick with [my name]", etc and try and train him out of it that way. Let alone the touching, that's just messed up. I hope that makes any kind of sense. I got a snippy response that they were mostly gals. Never. Id also like to add if my original comment came off agressive I didnt intend for that. I was the youngest sales manager in the company, trusted with millions in company assets and outperforming many of my older and more experienced peers. Women are always infantilized as a way to dismiss our knowledge and skill. I just called him by his name or referred to his job title when describing him. Well done. I can imagine the insults to your colleagues if they dont like something and you think its stupid. But just to get things out in the open, I was wondering why you call me kiddo? All you need to add is wiggling your pinky finger as you say it. Actually theyre just telling it like it is lighten up already! I was in a dental office this morning and the dental assistant, who looks to be no older than 25, called me young lady (Im 63 with a full head of white hair that I love.) Just a Im sorry? Of genuine confusion works so much better than saying excuse me? with an attitude. For free. Otherwise, if you have a good rapport with him and the company, start calling him young man, after he calls you young lady, while others are there to hear it. For more details, consult the EEOC.gov website and an attorney concentrating in employment law. My previous lead laughed at me when I told him Im gonna buy a plane and learn to fly. He was visually weirded out by it and left quickly. Full disclosure - I am a cisgender woman who was radicalized as a leftist feminist in grade school in the 70's (by radical Catholic school nuns who also did service work in South America, by the way). Older people call me young man, even though Im 30, but I get called sir by people younger than 50. He has been in the industry for his entire career and is very well respected and knowledgeable. I'm a white woman so I don't always understand the intersectional aspect there, but I'm sure as a black woman you deal with so much more of everything and I'm sorry for that. Kiddo is not the same as buddy. Kiddo is a term exclusively for a younger person while buddy can mean a person of any age. Its one of the things that really irks me. to me, a university educated teacher I would be a very rich man. He is also my fathers age and I am his daughters age. my boss is infesting our office with fruit flies, my work funds the office BBQs, and more, updates: the terrible uniform policy, the acne, and more, updates: my coworkers a jerk to me because shes pregnant, and more. The amount of privilege it takes to be offended by something so little is astounding, The PRESIDENT called you young lady. It's just habit or possibly the way they were raised. Op is being over sensitive in this case imo, especially compared to this lol. Some of them identify the speaker without fail. My boss called me into her office as I was heading home. OP smelled a little sus. I prefer to think young as well, dont walk around with a bag full of pills. Its hard to think straight when someone disarms you like that. We all have to realize there are generational differences with nicknames. Youre a pilot, a respected and educated person who actually DESERVES a great amount of respect. I'm 43. That would have been a great response, now I'm mad I didn't think of it! But I didnt really mind that he called mekiddo because we both got along well and he does respect my work too. One has to be privileged to make a big deal out of this type of nonsense. You are paid for your labour, not to be a slave. It just doesnt have to be that big of a deal. I think there is possibly another issue here (though the OP doesnt mention it) the impression it may give other employees about OPs role. You can't imagine a world where that same president would have said "Where are you going, young man/son?" I now presume, no matter age or gender, that whoever I'm talking to is the manager. Solidarity. Man, the stuff people b- about. Excuse me, eye contact, down to shoes, back to eyes old man. I use lady, man, chief, sir (drives northerners nuts), and boss man/lady. I saw your comment, and omg my aunt was like your mom- that I had to let them! I'm constantly called stuff like "young lady", "sweetie", and the like from them. I think theres a pretty big difference between a great job and a where are you going, which implies that she doesnt know what shes doing. Idk why but you made me feel better about being rude. This is a company with 3 bases, plenty of pilots, but trust me, he's shaken my hand before, he knows my full name. Plus he'll say it to male clients and all of a sudden I feel 10 years old and the clients won't take me seriously. I have been unhappy at most of my jobs, so I'm highly opinionated on this stuff, if you can't tell :) Good luck! Next time you see him, ask, "How you doing, Gramps?". Second only to addressing the child by their full name. Psssh don't try and shove that statement on Caucasian men alone lmaooo, Caucasian women want to touch African hair too. She needs to tell them, politely but firmly, to stop. Sometimes its just that updating your "register" of language can be tricky. Like imagine youre from a planet that is an utopia and so acting this way is just very very strange. Today we were given the okay to leave our home base early, and as I was walking to the plane the president of the company was going by and he stopped and said "where are you going young lady". Can you share your perspective with me?. Im in my mid twenties and hate being called young lady. >No one would ever say anything like that to my male peers. But it happens to all of us nearly daily. 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